Things I Learned in Providence

Thoughts on My Year in Providence

Rhode Island marked the ninth state I’ve lived in, and I’ve learned a lot about myself while I was here.

I learned that I really enjoy walking. Over 800 miles according to my GPS walking app.... I learned that a lot of folks here in Rhode Island view walking anywhere as the past time of the mentally ill… So even in the rough neighborhoods, people looked at me oddly and more or less left me alone.

Except, that is, for the Brown University Police. Apparently middle aged white dudes outfitted in North Face gear pose an especially insidious threat. I found myself assuming the “position” against a tree while needing to justify taking pictures of old buildings on the day I re-enlisted back in the Air National Guard. The irony was not lost on me.

I learned that the food scene in Providence is pretty fantastic.

I learned that the downtown area between the mall, Brown, and the Dunkin’ Donuts center is amazing on foot.

I learned the hard way that GroupOn more or less sucks.

I learned that a “Gagger” is not some sort of term from the adult entertainment industry, but rather Rhode Island’s idea of a chili dog. I believe that if you were blind drunk a gagger might just taste like heaven.

I learned that 15 miles is a long walk for a cheese burger.

I learned that wherever someone lives if they expect to meet friendly, helpful, and kind people you will. I’ve been lucky enough to meet and work with amazing people.

I learned not to get too close to Leprechauns. I also almost got in a fight at Wal-Mart with a Leprechaun in the self-checkout lane at Wal-Mart – because I went to stand in line at the register instead of waiting outside the queue. My guy Max was there to see this… 

I learned that everyone truly does equate Idaho with potatoes, and no one harbors ill will when you say Idaho, pity sometimes, but never ill will.

I’ve learned that sheep jokes don’t work too well outside of Idaho, Wyoming, and Montana.

I learned that people really don’t make eye contact in the east when in public.

I knew I had one of the best friends in the world. I learned I had the best – best friend in the world.

I learned that distance not only can make the heart grow fonder, but can be an amazing way to fall deeply in love with someone.

I learned that one man’s idea of a mountain is another man’s idea of a foothill.

I learned that home truly is where the heart is.

To My Best Friend

The story that is told is that my mom went to his dad, father of 6 boys and coach of my little league baseball team, and said, “My son needs a friend.” To which his dad offered up his second born son and said, “Adam will be his friend. “

It’s been so long that I don’t remember exactly how our friendship formed. So cemented in my heart is that friendship that it is just inconceivable to me that it could ever cease to be, a bond so deep that I think of him as my brother.

He is the best man I have ever met. And I have known many good men.

While I have spent two decades with my head in the clouds chasing dreams and deep thoughts, he became a big oak tree in meadow. Planted, rooted, deep and strong – raising a family and building a life.

He has helped me move more times than I can remember, and each time we always had fun. Well, I had fun at least.

We have had our adventures, shooting, off-roading, and camping. There are details of a certain camping trip that I will take to my grave and keep from his wife. Thinking of that story, one that I have told and retold to other good friends, the story of “Just think positive” still makes me laugh out loud.

He baptized me into a new faith, and he has always lived his religion better than any man I know. His imperfections he knows, and works hard to balance them. I went from “knowing” to hoping as I lost my faith in God, in religion, but he’s never lost his faith in me.

I know that it’s been hard for him to see me stray from a path we both thought we’d walk together. Unlike so many of the self-anointed, he has walked the path beside me, lovingly as a servant of Christ always seeking to serve, never to judge.

Should I have a son, he will carry my best friend’s name, and hear often of what he must do to live up to his namesake.

He saw me come back from war a different man. I was lost for several years in my own mind, still fighting to come to grips with who I had become. Though I pushed him away, he never went too far. Just about every week since that time he’s invited me to church in a way so kind and humble that my weak way with words can’t do justice to.

He was the best man at my wedding. I think that he was happier for me on the happiest day of my life, than I was. That’s who he is.

When I went to Rhode Island to provide for a family I didn’t yet have claim to, he mowed their yard, put training wheels on bikes, and gave my wife peace of mind that all the money in the world couldn’t have bought.

I seek his counsel before that of old men, Doctors, and other wise men I know. I value his counsel and advice more than he will ever know.

When we are both gone my children will still know his story. I don’t know of a better gift that I could give them.